Not surprisingly, his story was the same as mine, different version. We both complained about temperamental traits and behaviors in our spouses that we’ve been dealing with for years, him for 41 (!), me for 15 (second marriage). We reminded ourselves that we love our partners and they us, and that we’ll all get back on track as we always do, but that, although these disconnect patterns are familiar, they’re still infuriating and hard as hell. As a result of the disconnect with the ones we love, here am I, a psychologist practicing couples therapy, and he, a writer whose books deal with consciously maximizing one’s potential, both experiencing a loss of control over our internal well-being.
Update: It’s a week later and my husband’s slowly come back. Boy was it hard to let go of my self-protective behaviors so I could also be there. Now that I’m more at ease, but with the reminder that we’re all in some version of this relationship struggle together, I’ll get this blog going. Hope to have you as a regular reader.