Tuesday, September 4, 2012
We all go through them so we know that breakups are part of the process of ultimately finding the right person and settling down, mostly happily. But sometimes, after investing a lot of time and effort in a relationship, its ending takes us by such surprise, that we're forced to realize we were somewhat living in a dreamworld without the two of us really knowing what was going on in each other's head. We were hanging in there and enjoying the good parts, but the ongoing areas of conflict, about which we tried for the most part to bite our tongue, were always silently standing between us. Ultimately, it was these unspoken, unresolved issues that ended things. There are definitely things to be learned, mostly about ourselves and how we communicate our needs, that need attending to as we move on. We don't want to repeat history in our next relationship and be taken by surprise again. That is the only good part about the loss of what we thought was a solid, predictable love committment. So, along with the pain and loss, figuring out how to grow from this experience and do things differently next time is the opportunity we now have. More about this soon.